Surrender
by dumbblonde89
Summary: I feel like I am losing myself. For some reason I have nightares that I am drowning and no one is there to save me. If you told me that I was going to turn out this way a year ago, I would probably laugh in your face.
1. Chapter 1

I continued to run full speed to no where particular. My legs automatically kept going. My heart beat quickened as I felt cold eyes watching me. I was the prey while the hunter followed my every move. She wouldn't let me get out of sight. I reached a small river in the dark forest and realized that it was a dead end. There was no escape. Where was the "Chosen One" at this time? Probably resting his precious head believing that the Dark Lord had vanished. Where was his red-headed side kick? Most likely snogging his "sweet heart" in a deserted corridor. No one was going to come and rescue me. I wasn't worth being saved. The surrounding area filled with deep terrifying laughter. I looked away from the body of water and turned into the darkness towards the sound of laughter. Right behind my sight line I could sense a presence of another. I was no longer alone, the hunter cornered me. She stopped laughing but her mere presence still sent Goosebumps down my neck. "Where is your savior now, Granger?". I didn't reply to save some strength that was left in me to calculate on an escape route. It was ironic how at one point in my life I used my brains to achieve top marks in school. And now, I was using them to escape my destiny. My energy had drained destroying and hope of survival. My brown eyes shot right back up as I heard the hunter approach.

She stepped out of the shadows and I gasped in shock when the moon light shined on her haunted face. Her shoulder length brown hair was tangled with twigs. Her cloak that hung loosely around her boney body was ripped and torn. Blood stained her clothes from battling in a war. Her cheeks were hollow as if she starved herself to gain power. Her whole appearance made her look like a savage. After examining her, I looked into her brown eyes and saw a story that would never be told behind them. Out of the corner of my eye I saw her stubby fingers traced around a familiar mark on her fore arm. I detested that symbol because what it represented. The hunter's fingers slowly traveled towards her pocket and grasped her wand pulling it out pointing the tip directly at me. I held my breath competely aware of what was coming next. I knew it wouldn't be quick and it would be quite painful. But why not have a painful death to end an agonizing cycle that I suffered. I saw that the hunter's lips were moving but I only caught the last word, "Crucio". A blinding red light hit my chest causing pain to erupt from inside my entire body. But no pleads for help escaped from my lock lips. I didn't want to give her that satisfaction knowing that she finally broke through my barrier and that my strength of resisting had deserted me. The spell released rather quickly forcing me to lose my balance and fall into the river. I felt my head split open off of a gadget rock allowing blood to dye the water around me. Ice water went into my noise and mouth stopping me from breathing. Gravity pulled my body down deeper into the red river. I felt myself drowning, never to resurface. The hunter watched with glee in her brown eyes as the limped body floated out of sight. A smirk of victory formed on her pale face and she turn to walk away. She can finally rest knowing that the old Hermione Granger is finally dead.

I stared ahead of me while my two best friends stuffed their faces with anything edible in sight. I was trying to remember my reoccurring nightmare without any luck. I glanced across the Great Hall catching a pair of icy blue eyes. They narrowed as if he was concentrating on solving a puzzle or a mystery. A sudden thought popped into my head making me shiver slightly. Is it possible that my mortal enemy knew my secret? I silently laughed at the thought and pulled myself back to reality. There was no way that little ferret knew what I was doing. I am way too good of an actress.


	2. Chapter 2

Steaming hot water poured into the sink. I damped my face cloth and smothered it with soap. I started to scrub my face as if I was trying to rip the skin away. I looked up into the mirror hating what I saw. The hideous face staring back at me was a lie. I was the only one that knew the truth. It disturbed me how people choose no to look deeper into things that were right in front of them. It seemed that everyone rather be comfortable and oblivious than alert and conscious. Even my supposedly best friends were completely blinded to who I am and what I gravely feared to become. I was a bookworm to them, nothing more. You would think that they would have realized that there was missing puzzle pieces in my famous act. And yet, they weren't willing to search. I didn't expect anything more from Ron. It seemed like he only had enough brain cells to fill half of a teaspoon. But surely Harry would have at least some suspicion. I sighed in frustration knowing that I am going to be forced to make a decision sooner or later. And no one can help me or make it for me.

I walked out of my bathroom and into my bedroom. I slowly changed into my robes staring at the full length mirror not liking what I saw. I mentally kicked myself for worrying about something so insignificant such as physical appearances. They weren't important; they wouldn't help me get closer to what I am seeking for. I bent down to pick up a book that had a black leather cover that I dropped last night. I started to search through my trunk throwing less valuable trinkets across the room, until I found what I was looking for. I picked up another book that was tilted "Hogwarts, a history" and placed the black smaller book in the middle. A cunning smirk formed on my face at how I used that cover for over seven years and no one has caught on yet. I gathered the rest of my text books that I'll need for the morning and started to move towards the exit of the head common room. I was half way out the door when a laugh escaped my mouth. I still can't believe how those idiots thought I could reread one book continuously.

The warm September wind kept on circling around me as I sat beneath a shady tree beside the lake. Textbooks, parchments and quills sprawl on the grass, making it look like I was being the usual ambitious Hermione Granger. And yet, if anyone took the time to notice they would realize that my mind was anywhere but on the work in front of me. A sentence kept on repeating in my head, and I was sure I heard it before. But I couldn't remember where and it was driving me crazy, taking up all my attention. _"Where is your savior now?"._ Who asked me that? Who was my savior? Harry or Ron? Surely, either one of them would come to my rescue without a second thought or at least I think they would. Each time I got an answer for one of my questions another pops into my head. Lately, I have been wondering why I not only feel alone when I wake up but I feel like I lost a part of me. A part that won't return. However, that doesn't make sense since I started this expedition to figure out who I was. A shiver ran down my spine as I suddenly felt someone staring at me. I glance at the surrounding area making sure it was still completely deserted. After reassuring myself, I decided to retry tracing my thoughts and feelings before I opened my eyes this morning. But I already knew it was useless, I always forgot the dream almost instantly when I woke up.

"Doing work already? Harry, you owe me two galleons" said a familiar voice interrupting my thoughts. I instantly replaced my act and got ready to make a spectacular performance. "Well Ronald, unlike you I rather not get behind with school work on our very first day back" I replied sounding very convincing. The tall red-headed boy glared at me as our friend broke out into hysterical laughter while his emerald green eyes sparkled in the sun light. A smirk started to play on my lips at the thought of how easy it was to manipulate them. I quickly hid it replacing a stern look on my face before either of them noticed. "You know, we better get back to the common room so I can write up a study table for both of you so you don't get behind" I said, covering up my slip with a comment that the book worm would have told them. I bent down to gather my stuff and sniggered at the sounds of my two friends groaning. Out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw a pair of blue eyes staring at me a few trees down from where I was sitting. I straighten up allowing my glaze to land on the spot which was empty. I shook my head and ran after my friends deciding that what I saw must have been a mere reflection off of the lake.


End file.
